Sb, you should have told us about your girl Options

[TwoStepYankee]

~giggling~ your girl is moving up on the ladder! I just want to know... who thinks of these things?

In a stunning move that shocked the sports world, New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner announced that former YES sportsperson Suzyn Waldman had been signed as a free agent pitcher to replace the departed Jon Leiber. Waldman, who was the first non male full time sportsperson for the Mets propaganda arm, WFAN, will become the Yankees number five starter in a rotation that is in urgent need of overhauling.
Steinbrenner explained that John Sterling’s compadre, Charlie Steiner, will be working for the Los Angeles National League entry this upcoming season, which led many to believe that Waldman would replace him. But Steinbrenner has a low opinion of Waldman’s broadcasting abilities and even pulled her from doing play-by-play on telecasts a few years ago, claiming that even he couldn’t put up with her shrill, often inaccurate descriptions.

Some have speculated that when the Miami (sic) Marlins recently offered Al Leiter a one year contract with a guarantee of becoming a Marlins broadcaster in 2006, Steinbrenner decided that having Waldman do the opposite, that is, go from the broadcasting booth to the pitching mound, would be in Major League Baseball’s best interests.

Infinity Broadcasting, the media giant that owns the Yankees flagship station, WCBS, as well as Waldman’s former station, WFAN (no conflict of interest here, keep moving along), is livid. President and COO Joel Hollander wanted Waldman to become the first full time non male baseball broadcaster, but when his intentions of making the move over Steinbrenner’s objections surfaced, Yankees fans flooded XM Satellite Radio to find out how they could subscribe, reasoning that if they had satellite radio, they could listen to the broadcast of the Yankees opponent and avoid listening to Waldman.

In recent years, there has been an influx of baseball broadcasters who have been hired because they played the game or they had relatives who were announcers. When the great Brooklyn Dodgers and New York Yankees broadcaster Red Barber was asked for his opinion of baseball announcers who had been players, Barber dryly replied, “I don’t go on the field to play shortstop. You can figure out the rest.” Did someone say, “Phil Rizzuto?”

Well folks, Suzyn Waldman is going the other way. She will become the first non male to be signed to a major league contract. Waldman expressed some trepidation at the move at first, but then said that she trusts Steinbrenner’s judgment implicitly. He has seen me fool around with some of the players during spring training (what?) and if he likes what he has seen, he can have it.

No one can deny that the Yankees need starting pitching. Kevin Brown, who was supposed to be the ace, has an intense, almost wild look in his eyes, and that is before the opposition blasts him. Steinbrenner will trade him to any team that will take him. One broken hand a season is enough. Javier Vazquez, who was a top flight pitcher in the National League, spent the second half of last season telling anyone who would listen that he didn’t know what was going on when he took the mound. Waldman should feel right at home.

Women’s rights groups have mixed feelings. They are pleased that a non male is finally going to be playing major league baseball, but they have some reservations that Waldman is being exploited and set up to fail. Waldman disagreed, saying that if her work on the YES network hasn’t negatively affected her, neither should her pitching.

Not putting Waldman in the radio booth leaves Steinbrenner with a problem now that it is known that a non male didn’t get the job to replace Charlie Steiner. The prediction here is that a high profile person will get the job. According to reliable sources in the Yankees hierarchy, there is no truth to the rumor that Janet Jackson is being considered.